I'll bleed this skyline dry
Hear Me Out

I like to give excuses for everything and anything. If Im not in the mood to do anything, I idle around.

I let my friends say as they please, but that don't mean I agree with what they say. I just accept that its their opinion.

I can be an ass hole. I can be the nicest person on earth. Just depends on who you are(:

"Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God." -Matthew 5:8

Complains?
Saturday, November 15, 2008
HEH?

Im really sorry for dissing all them maplers. But those over 15 are just plain oh NO LIFERS. Wasting your life on a 2D thing. when your like 15 and getting to talk to people online for the first fucking time in your miserable life. *acts mesmerised* WHOOP DEE FUCKING DOO bitch. Your 17years old. Your only friend is your wife on maple. Great life you got there pal. MMM MMM GOOOOD, your greatness over shadows my pinky finger.

My heart goes out to ANTHEA. Poor thing. Anthea was right thou, if it had been me, my tolerance for this sorta thing is very low if not, none at all. No need ASC shirt what....I didnt wear it either. They didnt bother. Anthea, go for it(: You are different from me, I'd rather enjoy looking for now. Stop sitting on the fence anthea, love isnt about sitting on the fence, its bout taking the leap and "free fall into the unknown". YEAHHHH totally just quote from some romance song can. LOL!

Why are you angry at me for starring back? Im just happy looking. Why cant I be happy? My world doesnt stop just because she left me. I dont hold onto people, I love freedom and so do people. Why should I look back? Why should I feel all torn up and depress over soemthing that isnt there anymore. Why should I not look? Im not with anyone now, my conscience is clear. I asked her to be my friend and it was complied to without reluctance. I am sure as hell not going to start crying and ask for her back, she has better people to be with. I still care for her as a friend, but nothing more and dont expect anything more from me, because the feelings are gone. My feelings were genuine and my attention undivided, but that was in the past. The least you could ever do, was just be happy for me and not shake your head everytime I raise the topic of sam. She's happy to live her life, Im not unhappy she's happy. Im dam happy shes moved on and is well.

So lemme just put the whole thing to an end. "If fify wants it then everything will be silenced." I was giving my all when I was with her. Im selfish and I've moved on.

Yes, I am that emotionless when it comes to things that hurt fify. Yes, I do move on very fast, too fast. Yes, call me a heartless bitch. The sooner you realise that the more you understand my thinking. Old man jones and myself will never let anyone or thing get to fify. Call her spoilt, overprotected and selfish. Like I said, as long as fify is happy, everything&one will be silenced. Call them faults, flaws, whatever you like yeah.

Moved on.

Sam the waterballoon is 2days old!! LETS CELEBRATE!! SAM's FIRE is 4days old.

PICTURE OF YESTERDAY






Friday, November 14, 2008
SAM THE RASCAL BALLOON.

TIRED BUT HAPPY.

Had japo in the morning. Rushed to help after. Walked around and look and buy like money's free one luh.

Walked through AS like a million times. But it was all worth it *grins* Kailan the bitch forced me to buy her ker-wad-ah? HAHAHAHAHAH! Oh wells. Tasted alright I guess. Anthea's friends dustin or what was his dam name, forced us to buy $8 worth of satay. LEMME SAY IT AGAIN, EIGHT DOLLARS WORTH.

Bought a coke cookie jar. Gave me another reason to walk back. Making lazy oh me walk. But if I were given the chance, I'd walk there as many times as I saw fit.

Dinnered with poks and anthea. All tired as shit. We played our favourite Magic8 ball again!! This time, just like last time, all my questions pointed to "YES". This isnt justa nother pluck petals or pull an answer outta the bowl sorta shit.

"14 times, 1 square, 3seconds."

Poks: Omg?! *bitch fits* Anthea, your friend ah?!
Anthea: *shrugs*
Jane: whattt?? I notice things. *looks back and smile*
Poks: *mumbles something and makes some sorta hand gesture that looks like he says 'eat' in frnech*
Jane: *continues to smile*
Anthea: she's crazy
Poks: *bitch fits*
Jane: *being as happy as a clamp*
Poks: *throws mini tantrum*
Jane: *says underneath a breath* come Sam, lets go talk to sherie. *toddles over to sherie*

Gave me senior a hug, I got labelled "huggable", you tell me which human isnt? Good thing I didnt let her throw water bombs at me, shit would that be pain, asking a basketballer to throw things, aint funny. When it hits, GAWD do you wish you'd have taken the "come lah! throw!" back.

Someone told me, "Why are you constantly crinkling the ends of your lips? Stop smiling to yourself Jane!"

Im not doing it on purpose luh bitch. I cant help but smile everytime I take a glance. SORRY FOR SMILING YOU WET BLANKET!! HAHAHAHAHAHAH!

I named one water balloon, SAM, sucha rascal when I was filling and tieing.

Whats with people knowing how I think.
I was like "miley, can you go find me a marker to write on my balloon?" miley's reply "you gonna write sam onnit right?!".

*turns head and slows down pace of walking* anthea goes "aiyuh, if you wanna look then just tell me luh, I'll gladly move aside." OI OI OI, I never ask you to move whatttt!!

*walks pass friend* friend goes "Eh. Dao can! I wave at you, you starring at people and not me. stare so long somemore! why? I not pretty enough for you ah?!!" HAHAHAHAHAH shit, like 5 people's heads turn at stare at me. PAISEH LIKE HELL.

"Anthea, needa go see lanzy." *Anthea grins ear to ear* "whhhyyyy?" *one eye brow raised Jane says* "ohkkkkkaaayyyy luhhhhh!! yes yes lahhhh. can we go, pleaseeeee?"

"Anthea can we go mushroom and talk?" *reaches mushroom* "uhh...can I sit there?" *smiles* "what the...you no glasses can see meh?" WALAO!! I got say I was looking meh?! HA HA HA PSHHHH no wayyy...

FUNNIEST THING THAT HAPPENED TODAY.
Vet tech girl: hey can you leave your number?
me: heh? what for? what number?
vtg: uhh. your number. the tin? Ill call you later?
me: what tin?
*anthea half push half slapped my face to look in her direction*
vtg: ummm this one....
me: OH OH!! YEAH YEAH!! right the tin.

HAHAHAHAHAHHAAHHAHAHAHHAHAHA! her face was priceless. She stun tio luh... HAHAHAHAHAHAH!

Special thanks to ANTHEA. For walking with me and missing out on *COUGH COUGH* ian *COUGH COUGH*

Soundtrack: only anthea would know, its the song you asked me to guess the artist and I said chris brown but you said no. at wheelock sakae. "Am I crazy or...." YEAHHHHHH

GOOOOOONIGHTTTTT. I can smile sleeping tonight and for the past 3 days(:




Thursday, November 13, 2008
STAND WITH ME IN OBLIVION.

Are we complete opposites?

Nope, we are so alike that we think along the same wavelength, like two parallel lines. Thats why we never meet.

Maths and CELLB tests were alright I guess...if you consider being done like 20mins before time's up. UGH.

OH MYYYY GAWDDDDD. CCN day is only 14hours away and and and and and...God....and's are the end of me. Water bombs. Speaking of bombs. HAHAHAHAHAHH!

AND YOU! Dont you dare look away! I wanna see your face. I wanna get inside your head, tear it up, eat it and love eating it. They nudge but I did not budge, they called for me but I did not holla, they forced me but I did not yield. I want to, I want to, I want to!! What am I becoming?

Just like it was before, it is again. History repeats itself, history loves the sound of its own voice as much as uncle G loves to talk away 1hr of lab. Stop smiling, stop looking, stop caring, stop it. God, CELLB/HPI lab's gotta be the most boring labs everrrrrr....okay..maybe thats cause like....yeahhhhhh antheaaaaaa....you know why. HAAHAHAHHAHA! I WANT BMIC BMIC BMIC.

SAM SAM SAM SAM SAM SAM SAM SAM SAM SAM SAM SAM SAM SAM SAM SAM SAM SAM SAM SAM SAM SAM SAM SAM SAM SAM SAM SAM SAM SAM SAM SAM SAM SAM SAM SAM SAM SAM SAM SAM SAM SAM SAM SAM SAM SAM SAM SAM SAM SAM SAM SAM SAMSAMSAMSAMSAMSAMSAMSAMSAMSAMSAMSAMSAMSAMSAM

SI ANG MOH!! WIS WIS WIS WIS WIS WIS WIS WIS WIS WIS WIS WIS WIS




Wednesday, November 12, 2008
Bucket fulla sunshine!!

Jane is HAPPY likka clamp.

Oh hate me will you? HAHAHAHAHAH! BMIC LABLABLABLAB *grins from ear to ear* Im just contented.

Omg. My day passed so fucking fast its not even funny. Well okay, thats cause everything seem to speed up since I was looking forward to lab. Looking through the microscope is what I wanna do for my WHOLE LIFE. The VIEW IS MM MM MM GOOOOOOD ALRIGHT. E. coli, S. Aureus what nots... (:

Anthea said the exact same thing that old man jones. Its almost as though they are family or something its FREAKYYYYY. Oh ma Gawd *peanut style* "Its the kinda ****** that you'd just walk pass and not notice til you stop and look then you'd realise that you were missing out on something beautiful." Holyshit. Did I miss out on something? Humour me and say no.

Something stupidly stupid happened to me today. Anthea and I were talking at IT tut rooms outside...I think... I walked in front bout 2 metres before her, I spun around and was playing with my feet while talking to her. And. God. I cant believe Im saying this but. My left ankle went soft and BANG. My head hit the uh...umm...glass board. Anthea took like 5 secs for register this then she fell to the ground(literally) laughing. Siti and sharon mighta caught it too. GAWD. Yes, keep laughing people. I dont mind, gotta laugh at yourself sometimes, I laugh at myself all the time.

Enough info for one night no? I have a lab report to do, and a few plans I have to set in motion. Things that require my attention, things that need not be important if I leave it, things that I will take as it is.

I GOTTA BUCKET BUCKET FULLA SUNSHINE, AND A LOVE THAT IS ALL MINE! now now people, I know its pocket. But I got a bucket. Jane always has a bucket of sunshine. Whether I want to hold it or not.




Tuesday, November 11, 2008
LIL DOT ON MY PAGE.

SORRY! Was talking on the bloody phone all night I forgot I had something called a laptop. HAHHAH!

Im so shameless its not even funny anymore. Not 1, not 2 but 3?! Anthea, kill me. It shouldnt be this frickin way. But who gives a shit. HAHAHAHAH! Me gonna not do anything bout em, just to keep fify contented, its harder than it sounds people. Really.

At least now I have a good reason to trans course :D CHEERS ANTHEA! HAHAHAHAHHAH!

God theres something wrong with me.

CCN day shit. oh. ma. gawd. *peanut style*

Nothing more. Nothing less. Im back to myself. Talk to me if you people wanna, I feel like talking...since....ytd morning. HAHAHAHA!

Good deed my balls luh fucktard. No one looks at good deeds that way, your not even suppose to think of it as a good deed rather your oblige to HELP. COMPASSION. Mother Theresa, my ideal. "If you judge someone, you wont have time to love themm." WHOA. Out burst at certain things I read.

ANTHEAAAA I WANNA KILL YOU!! HOW COULD YOU LOOK AWAY!!! OH MA GAWD!!!!!! You killed us both!! That one chance...NEUUUUUUU!!! *wails in dispair* Oh wells, theres always a next time. *shrugs*

Messy hair, slitty eyes, drool hanging from lower lip and a weird t-shirt. No hillary, I dont look cuter this sem. I realised I look likka hobo. OH MA GAWD. No way. PSSSHHHHHH. shaddup already.




Sunday, November 9, 2008
Come break me down, bury me.

Its all good but I still dont feel like talking.

I am feeling so much better after I poured out everything to Big G. I admit, I do miss a lot of things, I want to relive some things again, but its not going to happen. Fify wants zoo, old man jones wants house, and I, I just want to relive the moment you smiled with nothing but happiness innit. But old man jones told me to stop living in the past and start living in the present. No doubt, fify isnt happy with it but we three have to make do with what is before us.

Clean up checklist for old man jones:
make peace with japanese fucker.
rmb to tell fiq bout present.
get the new cross blessed.
get a bloody haircut.
rmb to do hmwk.
shut fify up not with lollipops but with time.

Busy day, been outta the house since 9am...to 8pm. CCN proj underway!! CELLB proj underwear siaaa...havent even began. Hanging out with Poks, casp and anthea. Ate dinner, wah kao, SALTY like hell mannnn!! *throws bitch fit*

Matt told me something that was so wise, I was appalled. "If you love someone so much, when you let go. You're angry because you cared, you hurt because you loved, you cry because you missed but most of all, your unhappy because a part of you is missing." See what I mean? To think that a dumbfuck can actually cough out sucha big phlegm!! Golly Gee, makes you wonder too yeah? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHH! But its all too true.

You're right, I wasnt as open as I should've been, I wasnt who you wanted. Its alright, Im not Johnson, I wont spit at you, I wont do anything to you, I will never hurt you, I dont want you to hate me HAHAHA *as thou you can change that Jane*. When you're ready to talk to me, I'll be waiting patiently, smiling at you. Your still important to me and I wont let you fall(:

Once you've loved someone, you never really stop loving them.

Soundtrack:
The kill by 30seconds to mars
Don't love you no more(im sorry) by craig david
If I were a boy by Beyonce
Love will tear us apart by Fall out boys
Make damn sure by taking back sunday
Miss you like crazy by the Moffats
Moving on & I just wanna know by Taio cruz
My love by Mario and usher