I'll bleed this skyline dry
Hear Me Out

I like to give excuses for everything and anything. If Im not in the mood to do anything, I idle around.

I let my friends say as they please, but that don't mean I agree with what they say. I just accept that its their opinion.

I can be an ass hole. I can be the nicest person on earth. Just depends on who you are(:

"Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God." -Matthew 5:8

Complains?
Friday, October 3, 2008
I lost the battle, won the war.

One word to describe me now. Tired.

Out since morning. Jane cant entertain too many people in one day, and having a lot of important people to entertain is tiresome. Both in person and on the fucking phone.

One thing that really changed my mood was a simple friendship I am too tired to save. Too late to save. As cold and heartless as this may sound, I dont give a fuck. I honestly dont. But why doesnt Jane even try to salvage this friendship? For simple reasons, its not worth my time, I could be worried about something else, something more important, something more worthwhile, then again, the line "she was once so close to you, she used to be my closest bud, she use to crap around with you, yet you've given up?"

How emotionless to this subject I can be?

Rule one, I learn in all my years on earth, which aint a lot, is that. If you care too much, you'll just get hurt in the end. I have stopped caring for you already. People come and go in my life without me noticing, then again I dont notice much. I've developed a "cold resolve" way, which in my standards, its moving on, why cry over spilt milk? I sure am not going to cry over losing you, let alone stand here and wait for you to realise that Im no longer standing by your side. People had suggested lowing my expectations, I wont, cause I dont expect much from you in the first place! I have high expectations for myself, just a little appretiation for the things I go the extra mile for. I've stood up for you when no one wanted to, I've been there when you cried your eyes out, I've written you special cheer up notes when your day decided to take a dump on you, you were a best friend to me, and I cared for you, I cared for your well-being, but now I just took a step back and looked at the big picture.

You didnt give a whimpsy poop. I am disappointed that I have invested so much time in you and you failed me. Others tell me, "Jane, I dont even see why you bother with this sorta person? Why dont you just give up like the rest of us?" Persistent, I am. I will do things for people who I think its worth doing things for. But I was too naive to see pass it. Caring for people like you only makes me feel stupid. Your just like her now, your her twin, I will respect you enough not to judge you.

Oh God, kill me please. I sat on our bench, Big G, I did, and I spoke to you. I told you everything thats been bothering me, I sounded pretty insane thou didnt i? Talking to myself at a deserted bench in the middle of a park.

ON A LIGHTER NOTE.

Went to watch House Bunny! Its like legally blonde justa that the blonde aint a smart one. HAHAHAH! *Bunny stands over the manhole, "AH ITS FUCKIN' HOT!!", and she continues to stand over it* HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!

Went to meet anthea and poks, both of whom I havent seen in a long time. Anthea and I talked, about things, important things and life-scaring things LOL!! I havent talked to her in a longgg time, too long for comfort. Got a few things off my shoulders and got scared for LIFE HAHAH! Yes, anthea I prolly repeated "im scared for life" like 10 times. But what you said had meaning dear friend, it wont befall on deaf ears. This is a test aint it? HAHAHAHAHAH! See how long I can go without going "im scared for life" HAHHHAHA! I wont fail! I cant fail now! I dont want to fail now!

Ok. Im tired. I dont feel like typing or talking to anyone. I couldnt even hold a proper convo with dode who I met at the bus stop. Thou its been a long time since I've talk to my twin. HAHAHAHAHAHAH! "LUUUUUK UP EVERYBUDDY" HAHAHAHAHA! But the surprising thing that happen was, someone sent me a msg, "Be patient with life, BUT GRAB LIFE BY THE BALLS!....." ok the rest I cant say...HAHHAHAH! And yes its things like that that stop me from having angry thoughts, its things like that that remind me of how blessed I am, thou that msg was VERY RANDOM but nevertheless, it made me laugh to myself. Thanks man!

Ps. I know everything now. Ask and you shall recieve. HAHAHAHA!