I'll bleed this skyline dry
Hear Me Out

I like to give excuses for everything and anything. If Im not in the mood to do anything, I idle around.

I let my friends say as they please, but that don't mean I agree with what they say. I just accept that its their opinion.

I can be an ass hole. I can be the nicest person on earth. Just depends on who you are(:

"Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God." -Matthew 5:8

Complains?
Saturday, March 21, 2009

You dont need me, I know you are stronger than that. I'll still root for you, if you still trust me. I never did stop caring for you, but your gonna be fine without me, I know you will. Im still wondering why you keep ignoring me though, care to reply? Hahaha.

One of the saddest dinners with ley. We talked from 6 to 9-ish... how can you look at someone who you love but dont want to leave. I couldnt.

I have no secrets from him cept the fact that I told him that I said I was going to be happy without him tomorrow.

By hook or by crook, I will fucking have fun, drink my alcohol and not think about him or her. FUCK.

I believe in miracles, I believe in the good, I believe in second chances, I believe in hope, because I have faith. I know some people think Im foolish to hope for her, but a fool's hope is all I need to go against odds.

I change what I can change, and leave the unchangable to God.

Theres only so much sad stuff I can take now! I need her now, God. Im having a really really really bad day, my patience level is dropping faster than you can say "shit".

I need her now, if I cant have her, I dont want anyone else. She's the only reason my anger hasnt gotten the better of me. Her smile is the only thing I look forward to everyday.

BBQ planning is already hard shit. Please please pleaseeeeee... lemme enjoy my holidays. I havent been enjoying it very much, since Ive been running around doing stuff. Just lemme have fun. Please

CIAO.

Song of my bad day... I dont have one.

God please keep her safe, if I cant see her tomorrow, then so be it. My day's pretty crappy, my best boy-friend's leaving, my other best girl-friend's 56million miles away, and the only person I want so badly to see isnt going. You have my faith in Your will.




Friday, March 20, 2009

Jane feels like rambling. Jane likes talking in 3rd person. Jane thinks its weird but Jane likes it.

Grey's Anatomy Season3 epi 16. Yes, I go through seasons faster than you can say "stupid". It makes me think of the fragi-a-lity(thats not a word) of life. I miss her already, not that I didnt on the 25th of Feb.

"Keep yourself distracted from thinking of her, Jane." Hahahaha! I wish I could Anthea, honestly.

But it's alright if I dont see her. I just want her to enjoy herself, be happy. What about me? Im happy knowing she's safe, knowing shes having fun with people close to her. As long as she is happy, I am happy.

Oh myyyy gawdddd.... Lesley's byebye draws nearer too. Im sad. He's always there, always fussing over me, always there to offer me waffles and a hot cup of coco with a giant hug that tells me not to give up with humanity just yet.

NO JANE. No temper tantrums, be patient and sensitive. Oh. Another thing, this is like my dairy, so spare me.

I am learning to be more patient with...people.
I am learning to be more emotional(which is HARD STUFF, really).
I am learning to not be cold, sounds weird to normal people, but Im not normal.
I am learning to be more sensitive, dont remind me.
I am learning to think in terms of emotions rather than logical thinking.

Song of my day: All I have to give by Backstreet Boys
But my love is all I have to give, without you I dont think I can live. I wish I could give the world to you, but love is all I have to give.

CIAO! Gonna oink oink soon. I miss her and I see her in my sleep.

God please keep her safe and let her enjoy herself. Dont let anything bad happen okay?




Thursday, March 19, 2009

I am officially exhuasted. I usually have an extraordinary level of energy that keeps up with my constant meeting-people-for-breakfast-lunch-dinner-and-drinking escapades.

Aston's-ed with Anthea and Poks. Then shopped with Anthea who bought like the whole bunch of CLOTHES. Kill me. She shops like me, spending money like water.

I was bored and tired so I went to read the lianz blog. Her grammar is still...um... that good. Took the test on her blog, if my I.T. skills arent that bad...you should be able to read it below.

What's Your Best Quality?
Your Result: Personality

Your best quality is your personality! People like you because you are an all around good person. You have good manners and values. You also like to express your personal style and interests.

Sense of Humor
Loving
Out-Going
Intelligence
Ambitious
What's Your Best Quality?
Quiz Created on GoToQuiz


OH! Poks, Anthea and I went pet scouting. Yes, theres sucha thing. We went hunting for meatball. No kidding, we went hunting for him. HAHHAHA! Meatball's a present, for someone special.

CIAO! Been up since 6am, not tonight baby not tonight alright.

God, You know who Meatball's for and please keep her safe in Your arms. I wanna see her smile again, once more and I can die a happy human.

Song of my tired assed day: Only one by Yellowcard
I wont walk out until you know, here I go, scream my lungs out and tryin' to get to you. You are my only one....




Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Place of peace for y'all. Novena Church. Just sit there and talk to God like He's your bestie. I swear, I sat there for an hour, closed my eyes and listened to God. We talked, about everything, one of my confidantes.

SunTec Food fair.

8 one litre MILK cartoons on the right hand, 3 six-in-one cartoon GRASS JELLY(T_T) plus 2 one litre NuTriTea Barley(okay I wanted it) plus another 2 one litre Pomagra...juice on the left hand.

I was like "WTF?! Why so much milk? Mummy, I know calcium is essential in old...DER people but but but but...EIGHT?!" *Panics and dies*

It was like basketball endurance practice and weight training combined! Now I understand why Mrs. Tay didn't allow me to combine it in Secondary school, its madness and finger cruelty.

It wasnt the heaviness of the items. It was the PLASTIC BAG HANDLE eating into my FINGERS. I have what they call, "Plastic Burn". Thank God, really, that my fingers had MEAT on them, otherwise the plastic bags woulda gott'em

I have a new hobby!! Guess what guess what!! DAYDREAMING. No seriously, this should be a hobby, its like my cranial alcohol. Love it love it!

I want to see you now, really badly. I'd hug my pillow and pretend pilowpilow were you, cept you dont have cotton lumps. Hahahaha! Hopefully, I'll see you soon.

Song of the day: Nothing gonna stop us now by Starship
Let them say we're crazy, what do they know, put your arms around me baby dont ever let go. Let the world around us just fall apart.

CIAO! Long day today, Im tired from Ley and Eli's bickering HAHAHAH!

God please keep her safe in Your arms and let her have fun daydreaming, maybe that'll be her hobby too. Hahahaha!




Tuesday, March 17, 2009

I am sorry, reallly. Sometimes I wished I wasnt the one causing you pain. Even now, I smell it, your pain and I reek of guilt.

Okay most people would find what I just said random. But its this nagging thingy at the back of my head and it really hurts. Yes, my head is throbbing.

Grey's Anatomy Season3! Yes, Im sucha geek. Finally got my hands onnit after WHITE GIRL finished it. I guitar heroed and I got creamed. This is sad.

GA wisdom.

You the ham or the eggs, are you either the chicken(eggs) or the pig(ham)? The chicken's involved in the meal, but the pig's committed to the meal.

So the question is... are you committed or are you involved?

Cute analogy about relationships no? Hahaha! Okay dont give me the "what-the-fuck" face and walk off, Im sane okay!!

Song of my guitar loser day: Gimme a chance by Plain White T's
All I want from you is a chance so I can prove my love to you.

God, seeing her soon would right about make my holidays and life. But if I dont see her, then please keep her safe from harm.




Monday, March 16, 2009

My eye balls are still protesting. I got a lil smarter for a normal IQ person, I clipped up my mofo fringe. *crowd applauses*

My Masterpieces' take months to write. *After months* HEH HEH HEH Sneak preview, actually it's the only preview y'all gonna get.

She's the sunshine after the rain,
She's the remedy for my pain,
She's the sweetness of the champagne,
She's the reason I'm not insane.

THE ENDDDD....her eyes only for the rest.

Im starting to love alone time! I get to sleep til 1.30! WHOOPIE! Hate when I have to wake up at like 10am to meet people.

OMGawd. The one word that drives people insane and makes them do unbelievable things. LOVE. Everyone is going insane, everyone. Two couples and two potential couples in my clique.

JEEZ! Why is everyone rushing? I think Im the only person going at snail pace/not moving at all. HAHAHA! But she's important to me, I wont rush.

Song of the day: Ready for love by India Arie
I would play this song to her. "They say watch what you ask for, 'cause you might receive' but if you ask me tomorrow, I'll say the same thing."

God please let her have fun and enjoy her days but keep her out of harm's way.




Sunday, March 15, 2009

(T_T)

My face. Hahahaha! It's an inside joke and it's totally not funny without the "inside" of the joke. Whatever.

WHOA. Caution: Highly emotional

Can somebody tell me what's wrong with cutting yo fringe short? Oh I know, it pokes yo fuckin' eye balls making it red and fuckin' itchy bitchy.

So-fuckin'-lutions: Cut the mofo off OR let it poke yo fuckin' eye balls out and grow.

Solu-fuckin'-tion I took: Poke my fuckin' eye balls out but it refuses to grow and now my eye balls are protesting. Yes, I run the risk of going blind.

Oh my gawd. My mood is utterly CRANKY. Rather emotional today, rather. All the soft love songs playing in my ear, oh my...

Lesley and I had a heart-to-Jackass talk. Hahahahaha! I'd play him "I hate this part right here" by PCD cept, we aint breaking up, he's just going back to aussie. Bitch.

Anthea please cheer up! If I were beside you now, I'd give you a hug buddy. My shoulder and my tissues are for you, nobody deserves to cry alone.

CIAO! I can feel the alcohol coagulating(did I spell that right?) in my stomach. That's if alcohol even coagulates luh.

God, please keep her safe from harm, God she kills me, You know that right?

Song of the fuckin' emotional day: Touch my fuckin' hand bitch by David fuckin' Archuleta.