I'll bleed this skyline dry
Hear Me Out

I like to give excuses for everything and anything. If Im not in the mood to do anything, I idle around.

I let my friends say as they please, but that don't mean I agree with what they say. I just accept that its their opinion.

I can be an ass hole. I can be the nicest person on earth. Just depends on who you are(:

"Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God." -Matthew 5:8

Complains?
Saturday, June 20, 2009
Here comes the pain

"If only you knew the truth, you wouldn't be feeling this way."

I bought some clay stone that when you rub yo skin on it, it'll smell like really nice. (it really smells nice, smell my hands one of these days)

So yeah, I bought this leather wrist band from FRANCE(mind you it's defo french), it smells like a rotting dead cow. I was convulsing while taking a tiny wiff of it. Gawd-awful I tell you.

Anyway, since this clay stone works on my skin, I thought "Hey! Leather's skin too no?" (future Alberto Einstein) I poured the soap on the rock and rubbed in on the leather.

My dense brain was like "Oh take a wiff. Its not that bad." I took a wiff. Oh yes, it worked alright, it smelt likka fementing dead cow. I don't whether to vomit or to faint.The smell was too powerful, overwhelming. *bends over like Neo in the Matrix but falls flat on face*

Anyway. Bought my MANHATTAN PORTAGE BAG. Lemme repeat that since you people are dyslexic and half blind. Jane bought her MANHATTAN PORTAGE BAG. WOOO!

It's almost the cost of my Project Shop bag(believe it or not). I name my MP bag, Shobet(Shor-Burt) please pronounce his last middle name right, Palomo(Pah-Loh-Moh). Got 10% off too(:

Even though all these nice things are happening. I feel, empty. I know why, I just can't bring myself to say it. Because I don't want it to be true.

Im tired. Went out with the breesey bunch yesterday then buddies today, there's church tomorrow and school the day after. Im dreading every second, but I'm lovin' seeing my friends!

All holidays never see them(except Anthea and Miley) leh! Oh my gawd. Don't make me say I miss y'all cause I wont(not don't). Jet lagging but it doesnt feel that bad.

God, I give it up to you. Please take care of this thing/person/problem that's making my heart heavy. I really don't want to care, really, but everytime I end up caring. I give up.

Song of the day: Here Comes Goodbye by Rascal Flatts
Wah this is one of the handful of songs that makes me what to cry. (I think I'm overly emotional from the lack of my spanish counterparts)

"Here comes goodbye, here comes the last time, here comes the start of every sleepless night... here comes the pain.




Friday, June 19, 2009
When i speak, you listen and understand

"The heart never lies."

OOH LONG ONE. How come so much changed while I was gone. Problems don't just arise overnight. No problem is unsolvable.

Why don't people ever talk it out, they just rush to get out. The first to leave doesn't mean the least to hurt. I learnt the painful way, don't run from the problem, face it.

People who run will never forgive themselves. They will just keep running away. If you love the person, just say it to them, tell them how you feel. What if they aren't here tomorrow, won't you regret it?

If you wanted to say sorry then say it. If you want to say something don't hestitate. It's not hard. Start with words, then flow along with actions.

Fear of rejection, fear of depression, pride is not the only one standing in the way, fear too. I'm not saying I like it, I mean you wouldn't know if you don't ask right? I don't wait for things to fall into my hands, I work for what I want so I won't take what I have for granted.

Because you'd rarely take something you've worked for, for granted. Thing's that come easy will be taken for granted, it's not some philosophical bullshit, it's truth.

I regretted one thing, it was not saying how much I cared for someone when I had the chance, now I prolly won't get the chance. I don't regret what I've dont, I regret what I have not done.

Nobody wants to be the one who asks 'what went wrong?', not because they don't care but because their pride's in the way. They don't want to seem "desperate" or be the "fool".

Don't tell me Im wrong because I know Im right, I've seen it happen before and many times over. "Pride comes before the fall" heard of that phrase?

What most people don't know is that if you take the leap of faith, you'd be surprise who catches you. The person you least expect is just waiting for you to jump.

And if you should ever get a second chance at anything, don't hold back. Im not kidding when I say second chances are hard to come by.

Im not directing this to anyone. This is really general and it's what I think of what people do. People I cherish read my blog and I don't want them to make the same mistakes.

But what my daddy says is true. "Sometimes when you try to protect someone so much from getting hurt, they don't understand why, they wont see your overprotectiveness as a sign that you actually love them."

Wah I felt damn BAD to the BONE when I heard my daddy say that. Because I could feel my daddy's concern when I get home from parties and stuff at like 11-12plus. Part of me wanted to give me daddy a hug.

Song of the day: Better Now by Rascal Flatts
If I could just let it go.




Thursday, June 18, 2009

"I could say a thousand words, but I just want you to hear three of them."

I AM HOME, and in need of a haircut.
(Desperately)

I feel so damn happy being home for some gawd-awful reason. I hate France, I hate Deli-France, I hate the french. Say whatever you like to me, it won't change my opinion of them.

They snobbish attitude and narrow minded ignorance is not bliss, it pisses me right off. And they wonder why half the world hates them. Fuck the french(except Veu and Paul).

Did I also mention, shopping in France sucks? You can't beat HongKong, Singapore and Japan luh French bastards. Asia and Spain rules!

Wah wah wah... lianz got more drama in her life than me! PFFFFFT *scoffs* Wait wait wait, pause, rewind, slow down, backspace. Did the 'passerby' just call Johnson handsome? Lur eh lang si cheh meh. (you must be blind)

Oh gawd, I couldn't stop laughing. She defo needs emotional and mental therapy, ASAP. "you very ugly leh." WHOA. Obvious much? But that is hitting under the belt luh.

I won't do such things, it's not fighting fair. I'd like to win fair and square. (dont have to bend down) Why do it anon, when I do it openly and in school all the time? HAHAHAHAH!

Mental note to self: Please do not leave you're friends alone for one and a half weeks. And bring yo gawddam charger!

Omg. How come when I get out of Singapore then Drama enters? It's like shes waiting for me to leave before she enters. Bitch. Jane needs to put her rusty social worker skills to use, damage control.

This convo is damn funny. Miley, Anthea and I were talking then suddenly. Just read this 3 lines. It happened in less like 5 seconds. Read is fast.

J: Pierce what?
M: Scrotum.
A: Dude!

I am sorry I wasn't there for you Miley): And poor Eli. Poor Anthea. Poor buddies. It's my fault, hahaha I didnt bring my charger!

Song of the day: Rhythm of the Rain by Cascasdes




Wednesday, June 17, 2009
In sickness or in health ($1)

"They say time will dry the tears, but true love stays for a thousand years."

Shouldn't be sleeping so late, m'dear. It's bad for your health.

It makes you look gross, haggered, wrinkly, disgusting, sickly, and that's why you look awe-ful (:

($1)($1)($1)($1) that was a rather long thought, 4-in-1 combo value meal for my imagination.

You should be in lala land and I just earned another dollar. Be safe, until I put you in danger when I get back. ($1)

Song of my tiresome-muscle-flexing-mood-swing day: (still the same as yesterday)




Monday, June 15, 2009
Retro song lyrics are so damn nice

"If I get $1 for every time I think of you, I'll be a thousand-aire(let's be realistic)"

For all you relatively bored people reading my blog, since you're reading, I assume you will listen and understand.

We took a walk around the Barcelona Marina(port), oogling at boats, oh dont ask. Daddy brought up the subject of responsibility. Hahaha! He said that the reason why my parents were overprotective over me, cause Im a girl.

And that I should treat my body with respect. My first reaction was like "HEH?! I cannot play sports/fall/do bunjee jumping/rollercoasters?!" (See how innocent my mind is?)

He meant the birds and the bees. Yes, my DAD was talking to me about the birds and the bees at my right old age of 17+. NO LA. We were talking about "level headed-ness" and "responsibility".

"Never put yourself in a position where you are in a dilema whether to keep the child or abort it. Because you will suffer a pain only YOU will bear."

Hahaha! OH THE BEST PART! (wait for it waaaait for it) "I'm an open minded person whether the person is going to be your WIFE or husband, think before you act, don't do things on impulse."

*jaw drops* 'JANE CLOSE YOUR MOUTH and dont look stunned' my mind shouted *looks at the boat* and says "EH NICE!"

RECOVER RECOVER COME ON RECOVER!!

Did my dad just say WIFE for me?? *gives the sneaky mischievous look and my dusty halo goes POOF*

Okay it should be about 6am in Singapore but its like 11pm in Barcelona. Hahaha! It's a morning present I'll leave for you.

Song of the day: Rhythm of The Rain by The Cascades
Little does she know that when she left that day, along with her she took my heart.... I cant love another when my heart's somewhere far away.




Sunday, June 14, 2009

"Eternity seems a little too short when I'm with you."

I HEART INTERNET CONNECTION

It's like 11:12pm over here in Barcelona and I haven't eaten my lunch and dinner. No, I aint dead broke, today just isn't a very 'lucky' day.

I was EASILY irritated the whole morning, afternoon and evening, but the grumpy grouch is feeling friendlier, for now. Nutella does wonders.

Remember what I said about spanish people being ugly? I take that back and slap myself like 2 times. (not so many times, later me thinks me dont like me) Hahaha! They aren't.

Jane still dislike friggin' frenchies and I still love spanish peeps. I will live in Spain for some part of my live, one day. Hahaha!

I wrote a poem while I + my extended familia waiting for a tow truck, I'll tell you more when I get back.

I Think Heaven's Missing An Angel

You're a little piece of heaven,
In you I create my safe haven.
You're my beautiful miracle,
With you I face no obstacles.

Baby please just hold me close,
In a world no one else knows.
Baby let me love you right,
Promise you I'll hold on tight.

You know I'll be hanging on,
Even if you're really gone.
I just want you to love me,
Telling me you love me softly.

You're my baby.

Song of the day: my ipod deleted all my songs, oh fuckerdy fuck fuck fuck.