I'll bleed this skyline dry
Hear Me Out

I like to give excuses for everything and anything. If Im not in the mood to do anything, I idle around.

I let my friends say as they please, but that don't mean I agree with what they say. I just accept that its their opinion.

I can be an ass hole. I can be the nicest person on earth. Just depends on who you are(:

"Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God." -Matthew 5:8

Complains?
Saturday, November 8, 2008
Love lockdown

Im going to give you people an early one.

Going drinking later, I really need it, but what I really need/want/gottahave is a hug. Doesnt matter, I cant get it. Get intoxicated, get it out. Get it out Get it out Get it out Get it out. I dont want it in I dont want it in I dont want it in. I just want to be w.....*mumbles*....

Eh...nothing to write bout...

I slept. Thats prolly the most part of it. I go to bed feeling alright, I wake up feeling likka drunktard. EHHH I only drank water when I went to sleep!! NEUUUU! oh no oh no Im turning into miley, I cant get drunk on water..no no no!! *goes hysterical*

I cant listen to poddy, he has only 5 sad songs. Love lockdown's play count's reached 300+ already. I hate this part by pcd already reaching 200+.

I hate that you made me love you, but if I knew this was going to happen, I'd still love you anyway.

Whoa there, emo much? But Im only human, I dont have nerves of steel, I dont have a heart so wise. In fact, I think fify's a juvenile thinking organ. Old man jones got sick of fify's irresponsibility and fired back "What made you so sure you little prick! I've been cleaning up after you and Im goddamn sick of it, Jane may be a pushover when it comes to you but Im not. You made us lose so much just so you can have your fun. You dont think of the consequences, you only think of fun. I swear I'd never let you have it again, whether the heavens fall or angels cry you will never have her back!" And I, am the one standing between both, watching helplessly as the battle within rages, I smile so they dont see or think Im affected at all. Fify and old man jones, please stop fighting. Two halves of me want two different things. *fify continues to throw tantrums*




Friday, November 7, 2008
Jolly well put it one side jane

"Im not in the mood."

Is my favourite line today, told almost everyone that. Because I really wasnt in the mood to talk to anyone, get the hint people!!

Keeping my distance, stop talking and forcing myself to look away. I regret not taking time to talk it over, instead of the whole rushed setting and misunderstood msgs. It was my fault not talking to you and explain things, but let things mull over by keeping my distance, its only fair to both. Im just contented I had you all to myself for this long.

Laughed my ass off, for 3minutes I really forgot every emotion cept happiness. Poks, miley, bryan, anthea, eunice, yl, lucky and I were laughing at lipids and johnson/dardar. HAHAHAHAHAHAH! Im still laughing thinking about it. Roleplay. Lipids being the rapist and eunice being the innocent victim HAHAHAH! Johnson and his microscopic dick, how the sperm is bigger than his dick itself. Jeez, it was like bryan, poks and I were adding fuel to the fire and the rest were just laughing it up. I needed that laugh, and smiling for 3mins instead of showing people my blackish face.

Felt so cold, I had to wear winter sweats and a hoodie over my shirt and patrick boxers. Oh someone's a white trash now.

The 3-1=2 new lollipop flavours arent helping anthea! But I dont want more!! As tasty as they might be, I dont want them, fify still wants the old flavour! But I dont want it either!! I dont want any!! Theres no kick in the flavours! I dont want lollipops now. Jane just wants to fly to Austria and sit on the sand of my beach and let the clear blue water wash against my feet. Its tiring trying to shut everything out. Drown myself in taide and blonde jokes. Retarded as it may seem. Theres hella no way I want to eat anymore lollipops, the taste gets boring if I eat too much.

5-4-2-4..... will not continue the code...smart people can figure it out in a heartbeat.

No time no time no time for myself. No time no time no time to apologise. No time no time no time to heal. Everything I do I disappoint someone, am I losing myself? No. I will put aside my feelings for my friends happiness', anthea and poks, you deserve them(: If I have to be happy for them, I better jolly well do it.

Wont you promise me...I just want to see you happy. That's as honest as honesty can get, love.




Thursday, November 6, 2008
Humpty dumpty fall&died. RIP pal

Nov 6.

Where to begin? Ooooh touchy touchy subject.

Sat at the bookshop absorbing and memories flood me head. And I was unknowingly smiling to myself, which freak anthea out. HAHAHAH! Dont worry, Jane doesnt cry over spilt milk, we all fall once in a while, memories are fun to look at, laugh at em. I believe time mends everything. No hard feelings. No regrets. Your still a soft spot.

Im glad it was your decision, I said thanks for letting me go not fo the rings. It was coming, we both saw it, just wanted to savour whats left of it. I am sorry fo pissing you off. I will miss your smile, and if its not too much to ask, we can still be friends!

Something less touchy&sensitive.

BARARELLA CHANTEL THOMAS!(no im not calling kailan thomas)

Say byebye to blonde moments, HELLLLO Bararella moments!! Jane attempted to say 'bararella-licious' really fast and it came out 'brabra-ricious' HAHAHHAAHAHAHA! I laughed at myself, how dumb was that? Yes, very.

THOUGHTS.

My head seems empty without thinking. Im not saying it was a revelation that it ended, but Im just glad your happy and able to let go(: Its like, *Jane tries to think* ohhhpp, nothing to think about, nothing to worry bout cept will I pass my quiz 1? "Jane! Distractions away, study first you nerd."

END.

As much as Im taking things lightly, Jane needs go to sleep. Eh people over here having a not very okay day then you still bastard me. Kao beh kao bu!! *mumbles* HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA! Please dont bastard me, Im in no mood to tolerant anything. Please dont demand anything short of a smile from me, again no mood. Please do send me blonde jokes! YEAH YEAH YEAH!! Jane's auto-prep system is in overdrive. But dont step on my toes, the words that come out wont be fancy neither will it be nice.

Yes, to all those of you who wanna chip in your 5cents. Yes, I know you told me so. Yes, I know it was oil and water. Yes, I know theres no understanding. Yes, I know I was a dimwit. Yes, I know imma fool. Yes, I know I shoulda listened to you. Yes, I know I fucked it all up. Yes, I know you care. Yes, I know you love me even thou your words are harsh but you still care. Yes, I know I wasnt good enough. Yes, I know it wasnt meant to be. Yes Yes Yes. Anything else?

Picture this:
*attempts to think dirty* "PSSHHH, its a frickin book. How dirty can it get?" *seductive book attempts to seduce the wall* "Now thats just nasty." *points at the book*




Wednesday, November 5, 2008
Forgiveness is the greatest gift.

"If someone slaps you on the left cheek, don't retaliate in anger. Give him your right cheek, for he will have his judgement in due time. What you do to people, it will be done upon you. I believe there is a God, and He is fair and just."

Forgive and forget,
live and let live,
give and take,
want and be wanted,
need and be needed,
love and be loved.

It isnt easier said than done. Take the leap and God will have His angels catch you.

Dios es amor.




Monday, November 3, 2008
RUN BABY RUN

Alright, Imma give you fools an early one. I have a monolongue to write, and I dont wanna be typing no blog post while writing it.

SEAH LONG BAO ONION BOB will be my future biological/adopted son's name.
LIEW MUI CAI CABBAGE PATCH will be pok's future biological/adopted son's name.

My son will sure as hell own pok's one luh. Cabbage patch liew...pshh not intimidating at all.

I realised my brain is so fucking weird. I do sudoku when I have a headache, which according to some, is insane because I'll worsen the thing. Not really no? I think I did sudoku faster when my head hurts.
Evidence: *no headache* Score of sudoku: 16.45mins WHEREAS *headache* Score for sudoku: 13:51mins.

Today was an okay day.
Lectures all the way.
Listening to the lecturer say.
We have a quiz on wednesday.

I munched on starburst,
but mentos was worst.
I locked a moose into the toilet,
she panicked and I died of laughter.

Theres so many things to say,
Theres so many things to do,
Theres so many things that require me,
But nothing concerns me.

Okay! That sums up my whole day.

Jane just wants tomorrow to come, and leave today behind. I cross my fingers to hope. I close my eyes to pray. I yield to Your will.

You make my day with just one smile, but my day is destroyed when your sad. The things you bottle up inside hurts me more than anything the world can throw at me. When I say, I'd never hurt you on purpose, I'd never use your weakness against you, it doesnt make me happy to see you sad. Yo clumsy cute ass never fails to make me smile. HAHAHAHHA(:




Sunday, November 2, 2008
Jane's feeling the chumminess.

SUNDAY SUNDAE BO BAN DAY!

All souls day. Visited granny's grave, cleaned it with DETTOL. I talked to her for a good 5 mins. Im feeling chummy even now. Gives a new meaning to "feel the love even beyond the grave"

Oh joyyyy...tomorrow is a monday. Thou mondays mean one day closer to tuesdays. I have something call school, which contain somethingS called morons, which means Jane's gotta have selective hearing/vision/taste/temper/laughs. Oh good golly gee. I feel like Im suffocating.

Poks, I understand the "i-wanna-be-with-narnia" feeling but you really gotta pay attention in yo work man. If you wanna play, then you gotta concentrate in lect. I bore you with this shit cause I really care fo yo grades dude. Not just me, Anthea as well(:

CAUTION: Jane's raw imagination ahead. Please be advised, if your name is Johnson/peguin/dardar *shivers* /pandasbitch...what nots, skip the next paragaph...actually just skip everything til the picture.

I wished I was CJ in GTA San Andreas. Take my mofucking bat and beat the shit outta morons. Oh my. I nidda go play it now. Imagine if Johnson was some dude in the game, Imma take my car and run that mofo's ass over likka lil chicken puss that he is.

Jane dettach from emotion. *close eyes&breathes* Mmm done.

*opens eyes &sees someone who looks like Johnson*

*runs his ass over with my pickup truck*

I have nothing more to say.


Ley! You never told me your onna bag?! HAHAHHA! I kid, I heart bastarding you, your reaction is priceless.


Good day tuesdays. HAHAH I swear I wont show you the scary pshhhh no way *quickly delete the pic* heh heh heh *laughs the evil doctor laugh and toddles away* Tuesday, commmmme tuesday, Jane doesnt fail at things twice, unless... HAHAHAHA I dont care...then again...okay stop argueing with yourself.