I'll bleed this skyline dry
Hear Me Out

I like to give excuses for everything and anything. If Im not in the mood to do anything, I idle around.

I let my friends say as they please, but that don't mean I agree with what they say. I just accept that its their opinion.

I can be an ass hole. I can be the nicest person on earth. Just depends on who you are(:

"Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God." -Matthew 5:8

Complains?
Saturday, September 6, 2008
Depends on what your asking for no?

Ow. My ear's bleeding. Fuckerdy fuck fuck. Pain. Pain. My ear's been throbbing.

Heck.

Went with lucky to BUGIS. I dislike it as much as I dislike LIPIDS, actually, hes worst. Anyway, hot, stuffy, people-filled- bengs/lians/uncles/ah pek/what nots. But we went hunting for some shit, the woman that sold us stuff was h.i.l.a.r.i.o.u.s because I'd call anyone aunty only to have them go "AUNTY? Do I look that old? Are you talkin' te me?! You're not talkin' te me are you?!" So yeah bought the stuff which costs a bomb! Seriously, my bankaccount is EMPTY.

Sweet&sour pork chops! What the hell happen to the money I worked for in apr?! HAHAHA but at least I dont spend it as fast as LANZY. Who squandered it in the first week of shopping. HAHAHAH! But now, Im no where better, looks like I have to go back to office): NEU. NEU. fuckerdy NEU. Working is so shitty even thou I dont mind it, too lazy to do what I use to force myself to do. HAHAHAH.

Oh went to Bras Pasa(how to spell?), Lucky didnt know how to get there so I had to lead the way. Seriously dont ask me how-I-know-how-I-knew-how-to-get-there, it honestly just comes to me...*cough* SUBNERRRD *cough*..... to get some stuff from ART FRIEND. HoooHooo! Man that's my new heaven. Whole bunch of stuff that when your bored with nothing to do or planned, go and frickin play with em. The stiroform shits looked fun, the candle making crap was NO-Jane-dont-buy-me-because-Im-too-fun-for-you. I almost killed myself so I'd not buy em.

Lucky said she wanted to get hongkong mags and a fascinating book/mag store was in front of us, so why not eh? HAHAHAH! Holy sweet&sour pork chops! That place got books, even I dont mind looking at. Please note, it aint porn books or what nots, Im honestly too innocent for things like that. *Halo lights up and the mile thick layer of dust floats off* Yes Yes dissing myself. Yeah yeah honestly, lucky and I wanna go back there soon! I say! Jolly good chappy! HAHAHAH! For a person that likes books, not boobs, that shop is heaven!! Lucky and I stumbled over this very fascinating book and I decided to buy it, I think you'll smile at it once you've seen how I customized it :D

Saturday, havent seen granny in 2 weeks, I wanna have dinner with her, and see my oh so fun cousins no? LOL. Wonder where mummy's gonna bring us to eat thou....xiaolongbao was good! (8

Finally fucking cut my nails, I can type fast with pressing lik 2 buttons at one time.

*At this point, Jane realises that shes typing without music. Sentences that are stringed together by swear words starts being fired at lappy, poor lappy*

And I have nothing else to say once my music is on. Oh God is fair alright...too fair.

Ps. The moose isnt a wuss! Oh? That rhymes. What's next is up to you, appetizer's served, now what would you like as your main dish?

Soundtrack:
Next to you - Jordin Sparks
All about us - TATU
The start of it/ The quiet side - Meese
Give my love away/ I'll never love again - Taio Cruz
Where are you - Natalie feat Justin Roman
You'll always be mine - Phath
Radios in heaven - Plain white T's
Yours to hold - Skillet
Patience - Take that
Fallen Angel - Chris Brown




Thursday, September 4, 2008
Recon mission to space. Countdown!

No No no worries this isnt emo emo. I am not emo. If you read the post below, You'd know that theres something fishy no? Truth is, nothing is ever fishy. Im feeling rather happy today, this I can honestly smile to you.

Went out for breakfast which turned into lunch with matt&sera again! So 2 meals with the same people at the same place. Gotta disgustly weird no? The aunty there was giving us this, "eh?! when the fuck are you gonna get your asses off the chair and leave?" HAHAHAH yeah, we talked, order, eat, talked, order, eat... Sera cried, i didnt do nothing to her I swear! She used some really strong words, but that cant change my mind, because its already made up. HAHAHAH! She just went all emo emo, bet elmo tried pulling her into his corner but I changed subject instantly and she stopped crying...weird friend I have here no? HA! you cant have her!

I was really not faking it, Im happy, Ive always been happy. It takes more to get to me no? I wont say Im happy how things turn out but hell....must everything always go my way? The answer is, nope. I'll learn to deal with it, because its easier for me than for most. And Im fine with it, I honestly am.

So lunchy went on, around what....1 plus i think....I decided to leave. I wanted my personal time which of course no one can deny me that. Left sera&matt to go eat dinner there! HAHAHAHAAHAHAH! Reached home, and I got a call from the most unexpected person. LOL.

Uncle Seet asked about the saf chalet whether I still wanted it, and something told me, nah. Let it go, so I did. Thanked him and apologise for any inconvience. Went online and got this brilliant idea, and with Janey's help, im planning my own fucking birthday! HAHAHAHAHAHAH! omg. funnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn! I miss the times where, pig, lanzy and I would plan class outings and only have us going! HAHAHAHAHAHHA! Going with Janey to go wholesaler to get stuff on monday! YAYOES! FUNNESS! HAHAHAHA!

"Uncle I want one of dam everything you got! Ask mummy for her credit card. Wait, what do you have uncle?"
"I gut pish and cheeekin girl."
"HAHHAAHAHHAHA rRrRrRrRreallay ah uncle?!"

LOL.

Cant wait for sunday thou, I finally get to talk to my best friend, Hes been waiting far too long to talk to me, and you all know how I hate to make people wait and have people make me wait right? Its time I face the music, I cant be turning my back on Him for so long. Forgive me Big G! Time I come outta my lil corner no? Took me long enough. HAHAHAHAH!

This is for lanzy.
HAHAHAHA talking to Lanzy now. FUCKING HILARIOUS!
I like my new phrase, "I'll take a fork and fucking ass rape your ass by shoving it up your ass!"
yeah yeah some people can even yell on the phone(im on the other side), to her mum for money to buy my present, and even say she'll buy my bloody present on the day it self! My fork will go so far up your ass lanzy, if you cough its coming outta your mouth. HAHAHAHAHAH! Theres a reason why lanzy's been my best fren even thou we fought like gazillion times over simple things. Kailan Thomas, WHO THE FUCK WORKS AT MACS! STOP WORKING AT MACS YOU CHEE HONG! LOL!

Monday Monday Monday, come Monday. Ill be hunting for what nots with Janeyyyyy! Good thing mummy's paying for the whole thing, otherwise Id be broke beyond reason no?

Ps. I'll be standing here laughing, when you ready to join me, all you gotta do is (:
Your my only soft spot.




Wednesday, September 3, 2008
Lost episode -1

Been out the whole day. I enjoyed it quite a lot.

Breakfast with sera and matt is very heart to heart sorta shit. And surprisingly my brain was quite fast...enough to be on the same pace as sera's. Not a morning person here! And I have friends that I will keep for life.

Was it that obvious matt?

They were rather fast, maybe because I was zoning out/thinking. And I can still remember the whole convo very clearly.

The best thing sera's said all her life and its a monologue to which I took like 5mins to understand, "Jane, I'd like to see AHEM. For many reasons to none, you actually feel the same way because this has gotta be the first time you ever did like someone besides uh...yeah you know. And you are sucha not fickle minded person its almost painful. Like cmon not everyone can decide or even put their minds to anything, your amazing. But your eyes tell me simple truths and your not happy. So stop smiling because you're so good at faking it, it hurts for me as your buddy to look you in the eyes. And I wonder why you havent given up? In my point of view, its not foolish to have what you want, like you said, happiness is how far you want to reach for it. So I say to you dear friend, dont hold on if theres nothing for you in the end. You deserve happiness more than any living soul for the reasons of everything, but you dont deserve this. Patience has it end, you cant be waiting half the time for an answer that you wanna hear. Idate's reaction is only natural, I dont blame him or you, but you've sacrificed way too many things for this one thing that cant decide. Do you hear me when I tell you that you have given up too many things? I sure as hell know your conscience is killing you! You cant tell a lie without having 'im lying' all over your face. I am not ashamed of you, I will never be, I am proud of you, for many reasons to none, you can hold your head up and fake it that your okay. You tricked me once, you cant do it anymore."
Matt: "First off, sera and I love you. But do you think this is it Jane? It is real when we say, your eyes tell simple truths, your not happy but your happy....that makes absolutely no sense at all. I dont like to tell you what to do because your a grown little kid in your own little world, you make decisions that have and will change your life. The power has always been in your hands, God dont give us what we cant handle and obviously He thinks you can make your own decisions. And I believe you can too, in fact, I know you've already made up your mind, because by what you said, your mind is made up on it. I wont change your mind and I wont want to change your mind. You care deeply for that person, your eyes show that, and my toast is cold.... HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! yes he can effortlessly derail the bloody subject. Honestly sera, idate shouldnt be in this convo as much as I want to eat a cold kaya toast....mean like seriously its sawgy(derailing again), hes being a real pissy bitch about Jane, its not like she lied to him right? She only told him that she....." YES. Matt's convo will end there for those who dont know anything.

Waiting is torment of the highest level to me. And there are truths in what sera confusion said.
Its true, I have sacrificed a lot to get what I want, but its not a fools hope to believe. Its true, God gave me what I wanted, but theres always a price to pay. And it is true, Im paying for it now. But theres one thing that is not true. I am happy. I am willing to pay for it. I have accepted what I have done no matter how wrong it may be. But only God knows how I feel now, cause only HE can understand me, but now Ive distance myself from Him because I feel guilty, Ive lost two of my best friends and Im losing two more. I cant be honest anymore, I cant look my parents in the eyes, and I cant let go, because I dont want to. This means a lot to me, and my friends not accepting it, it kills me, you might as well end my torment and kill me, honestly.

Idate, I never in a million years wanted what we have to turn into what it is now, what ever happened to, forever lost in the woods together? I cant believe my eyes, the words you can say, but i wont let go of what I have, neither will I let our friendship go down the drain. Hear me out please! Im trying to explain to you, but you dont want to listen, Ive always been honest with you, Ive never lied to you, why wont you just hear my side of the story? I dont expect you to accept what Ive done, but for a friend, I may seem angry on the outside but your killing me inside! I thought you could fucking accept what Ive done, you could accept every damn flaw of mine, yet you cant forgive me for something like this.

NEXT.

Went out with pig, sheryl, janey, lanzy, manda, muttu. Havent seen sheryl in ages and well shes still the same! HAHAHAHAH! Walked around, went bowling, me&pig vs lanzy&janey.....we were leading but then they took over and won.....RIGHT....then we played truth or dare and.....secrets came outta the bag. HAHAHAH! After which we went back to white sands, lanzy and muttu left. So we went to the library, and bitching session with pig and sheryl, TWO OF THE BIGGEST BITCHING BITCHES HAHAHAHAH! Yeah...they were bitching bout ppl smoking, getting pregnant, lian cum bitch, sluts and what nots yeah? Mostly I was like "really ah? shes smoking?!" HAHAHAH! yeah, i dont bother with insignificant ppl yeah? LOL. Janey left. Then left the 4 of us, they continued bitching, I was thinking, thinking of what to do next, thinking of ways to explain myself, thinking of so many things.

Ps. TMR. Is think to myself day, I have plans for everything, yet when it comes to you, Im at a lost of plans. Something that was always so simple to me, now is harder than life itself. I am happy when Im with you, I honestly smile when I look at you, I am honest with you, I am thankful your mine, I do miss you. Its time to decide, its time to know what we want, I wont beat around any bushes anymore. I dont blame you for anything or there isnt anything to blame you for. You make my day even with (:




Tuesday, September 2, 2008
OH?

Ytd was rather fun. Today is drop dead boring.

Went out fo DINNER with my peeps(: SAKAE. The food there rated quite high on my shit-list food! Literally. On my SHIT-list.

Something which made me laugh til my face was red and i was rolling on the tatami mat.

Poks was talking bout clubbing, which he went like...sunday or some shit. No i didnt go with him, I had to be somewhere and miss out on quite a lot of shit for it. Which was totally not worth even for tasty Xiao Long Bao. Poks went to some weird club...forgot the name. And he was saying how a bunch of gay guys were dancing on the table and how a girl broke the table after 1min of dancing onnit. I was laughing at most of the things that happen. Then the convo derailed to where are the nice clubs. SAINT JAMES is nice(:

Then lucky suddenly said "Clarke Quay are like the filipino maids hang out club!"

The irony of the moment was so great, I couldnt help but laugh, and laugh and laugh...until the waitor thought I'd gone high on green tea. Why? Because I was doing my infamous filipino maid accent with poks while anthea was talking to lucky. HAHAHAHA

Then I proceeded on to like talk about filipino maids in clubs before poks added on the hilarious-ness of the situation.

Poks: At Clarke Quay.
Jane as elizabeth: Hey Jessie! ee-sent tard mAR-rie?
Jane as Jessie: Yarh! Tard's mAR-rie! Lat's cull her!
*Marie is opposite side of the dance floor of elizabeth and Jessie* & *they scream across the dance floor to jessie*
Jane as Jessie and elizabeth: MARRRRR-RIE!! hhhwhart you dou-ing here mAR-rie?! Orpff-day tuuuday?!

Please note: By this time, poks was already rolling of the table laughing, anthea was face in arms laughing and lucky was openly laughing(not quietly laughing to herself). Also due to the fact that I got rather carried away, the whole of sakae could hear the reenactment of the scene. I had to raise my voice to make it seem real.

NEXT.
Tmr going out with my buddies! Wonder to where? I'm already broke shitless.

7 days to waffle GALORE! oh? GELARE! YESSS...how long havent I had waffles in my mouth? Mmmm far too long for my liking.

Anthea! Crush is the bomb(: Nice song!
Like the line "Am I crazy or falling in love?"


Soundtrack of my week:
Crush by David Archuleta
Fall for you by secondhand serenade
Give my love away by Taio Cruz
Angel of mine by Monica
High school never ends by Bowling for soup
If you're gone by matchbox twenty
Take a bow by Rihanna
Mercy by one republic
Never let it go by Paramore
Not enough by our lady peace




Sunday, August 31, 2008
Dont leave without me. Not yet at least.

Clarke Quay XIAO LONG BAO ROCKS! Im belly up filled with 'em. Love it when parents are with me when its dinner time. Means only 1 thing. "I want one of every fucking thing you serve here bitch!" HAHAHAHAHHA!

Parents. Source of 3 things.

1. Love.
2. Entertainment(Laughing at their backwardness aka old folks)
3. Credit Cards = MONEY = limitless power in shopping malls.

My mum's hilarious in a way that she dont mind us(me&ohsobelovedbrothers&daddy) laughing at her.
My dad gives me free money for feeding my turtles but has a short temper which annoys me greatly?

Inccident 1.
Jane: Daddy imma be out. *prays for free money*
Daddy: ah. ask your mom for money
Jane: *mumbles something while toddling off*

Inccident 2.
Jane: come here turbo. The bread's here not my toes. *Feeds turtle and honestly not expecting money*
Daddy: you got enough money ornot?
Jane: heh? *tries to hold back the 'I-WANT-MONEY-FACE'* oh yeah yeah.....like 10bucks....yeah that should be enough....mm....yeah....10bucks.
Daddy: here *wips wallet and hands me $30*
Jane: oooo free money! I want! I take! *in my head 'FUCK YES?! MONEY! I WANT! Jane grab faster but act as if you are reluctant to take it!!'*

HAHAHAHAHA! Holyshit. Makes me sound likka complete money maniac. NO Im not ok! *looks innocent* Seriously! I dont take money from my parents....they give so i ACCEPT. HAHAH!

Yeah well that only happens for daddy. Mommy is like opposite? HAHAHA!

inccident 1.
Jane: Mummy going out tomorrow.Do I get um...reimbursement? *nudge mum's shoulder and give a 'heh? heh?'*
Mummy: Stop shaking me luh!
Jane: eh...ah....my bad *given up on asking for money*
Mummy: Narh. $10. *hands me a red note with some dude's face onnit*
Jane: ah duh....$10 only? *looks at mum for more*
Mummy: Ya! your a student only spend more than ten dollars on a meal? I dont print money ok!
Jane: yeah yeah. *in my mind 'you dont print money cause your not a printer'* i go draw money
Mummy: You dont keep drawing ah! I'll take ur card away if your account goes below the standard
Jane: yeah yupyup GOOOODnighttt *walking out of the room looking rather disgruntled*
Mummy: Nah $5 more
Jane: Wow! 5bucks! *in my mind 'geee wow i cant even get a bowl of soup at billy bombers!'*

HAHAHAHAHAHAH! chill people. I love my mum. She rocks my rock-world. But one thing I'd nv ask her for. Money. No mummy aint selfish. HOHO you should see when we're overseas. HAHAHHA! Credit card much?

Money = ask daddy. Money = take without asking from brothers. Money = Go ATM. Money = Dont ask mum.
uh. Only 1 inccident. LOL!

Been out for 3 consecutive day. Im tired but its been so long since I hung out with my buddies. Cant wait for monday when I go fo DINNER with my peeps.

Fri- Janey/lanzy/muttu, Sat- moose, Sun- cousins/relatives,

Walking around sommerset with a moose was fun! We were like frickin tourists! Staring at the MRT board LOL! ok maybe it was only me. Cause its like fascinating....singapore railway lines are no where as complicated as JP rail. We got like what 3 lines? They've got like 20+? TG for idate and niki, if not I'd be lost shitless in jp. Went to watch 4bia. Ok. Figured something bout thai horror. THEY LIKE IT LOUD AND ALLUP IN YOUR GRILL SORTA FREAKINESS. Ok yes. It was scary. The canoe one was hilarious/scary. But the plane one wasnt. The princess looked as thou she was gonna puke up her lung or something. HAHAHAH! Moose was watching it for the second time and shes still covering her eyes with rummy. HAHAHAH! I wanted to pinch her cheeks but she might scream and the whole threatre wouldve been lik "EHHH ah girl ah! no scary you scre....AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" not forgetting buckets flying popcorn yeah? LOL

Went out to eat. My cousins were fascinated with the people running. As thou they nv saw human beings running before. I supposed it was the nike 10km run. I dunno. Its not like id know. LOL! Now that was some tasty shit right there. But the price was quite tasty too cause my eyes couldnt take themselves off the bill or the numbers on the bill when it came. LOL! I'd pay for good food. It sickens me when I dont get good food! Feels as thou I wasted one meal. Not that I can finish it....wait....i can finish it, i finishED em.

Cant wait for monday which is only tmr!! Gonna have dinner with people I didnt see for what? 3 days? HAHAHAH! I miss em already. Poks! Spill! I know you when AHEM clubbing without me....not that I wanted to go AHEM there. Im too innocent. HAHAHA!

Mon- anthea/pok/lucky, Tues-omg.free?, Wed-sera/matt, thur-JANE(yes quality time with myself), Fri-got soemthing on but I cant rmb.

MAURICE!! I told you to space them out!! WTF!! HAHAHAHA! Maurice ya fired *does the stupid hand flip Diddy Trump does in the apprentice. Omg. Diddy Trump. Brings back funny memories of leah and jonjon. HAHAHA!