I'll bleed this skyline dry
Hear Me Out

I like to give excuses for everything and anything. If Im not in the mood to do anything, I idle around.

I let my friends say as they please, but that don't mean I agree with what they say. I just accept that its their opinion.

I can be an ass hole. I can be the nicest person on earth. Just depends on who you are(:

"Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God." -Matthew 5:8

Complains?
Saturday, July 4, 2009

"Press the reset."

PRESS RESET
(please.)

OH GOSH. Caught up with Pig(flora), Minah(ameera), Kailan(karen), Manda(amanda) along with Miley(ma il *scoffs*) and Anthea! Too bad Sheryl couldn't join luh): Ugh.

I ricocheted out of depress mode and into happy mode! Pictures are with pig. She and her forever-battery-low camera. HAHAHA! Laughing at pig all day long, CLEOPETRA.

Best not to bore you with what we did. But if you realise how hard it was for me to be happy for the past few days, you'd know today was God's miracle. No booze, oh well.

Now all I need to do is go out with JANEY TEO WAN HUI! Miss you shitless luh.

Towned. Singapore is so small, I tell you. Saw like so many familiar faces, too many to name. Miley bought a Audio Technica headphone! Rich bitch. OMGosh. Jane's gonna hijack it everyday.

Pig says I have a mini-JieYing in me. She's this mega bimbo in my secondary school class. HAHAHAHAHA! Who loves romance novels, pink and squeals at anything and everything, literally. Hmmm sounds a lot like Lisbeth, cept the pink part.

Sure enough, Kailan and I bought shopaholic books. Lord have mercy. No luh! I just wanted to get back to my reading habit. I swear upon Santa being fat, that I am not becoming a bimbo!

When people ask me why I sobbed/moped/cried over that channel8 drama, I'll say this, "I'm not hormonal or emotional, I'm perfectly normal. It was just a very sad show." Bullshit luh Jane. Shhh they won't know the diff.

From now on, when I want to say "fuck" I will replace it with "damn". Start small luh huh. Don't progress too fast, it won't work, for me. DAMN YOU! HA! Getting the hang of it.

Song of my day: RESET by Super Junior

Gosh I'm in love with this song's beat, vocals, and lyrics. Enjoy the high quality sound! Jane loves her music in the best quality.






"Cry" by Rihanna

Tonight's post is later, after booze hour.

I didn't give it to you on purpose,
Gotta figure out how you stole my heart.
My mind is gone,
I'm spinning round.
And deep inside,
My tears I'll drown.




Friday, July 3, 2009
Out of my reach

"You, me and everything else in between."

I'm in hell already.

My utter reluctance to drag my ass out of bed recently, is due to the brooding fact that this emotional breakdown break-through out-break break off is wearing me down.

I can already feel hate at my doorstep ready to enter when I give up. Because when I start giving up on people, I become nastily mean really fast. Oh this is like second puberty.

If there is no pus means there is not bacterial killing. Im a science student, so Im relating things using science. If you understand what I'm saying when I say that, you deserve a hug.

HORRIBLE WEEK. This is the worst week of my life besides the first week I left US, weepy and whimpy. I feel so exhuasted - EMOTIONALLY unsound, mentally dead, physically tired.

Imagine you having major constipation while tearing your ass open and blowing a lung to force poopoo out. Yes well, take your ass' pain and convert it to heart pain. You cant sit without flinching, well I cant breathe with hurting.

And til this day I still haven't told y'all why I'm like this. It's a subject best left for another day. Where is she when I need her most?

Adios amigos! Estoy mucho cansada. Buenas Noches. Early one today. I don't feel like staying up.




Thursday, July 2, 2009
The answer to your question is YES, I DO.

"Everytime I don't see you, I feel my heart breaking."

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand who is the greatest? I stumbled over somebody's lil blog today. Ooooooooooh the wonders of googling nonsense. I need a life. Or gimme back my old one.

Sometimes, I wish Alex Lee was my tutorial teacher. I don't get the female one. My "bright"ness has it limits. I gave the teacher my 4-in-1 kungfu pao pao kick with my single digit sectionB flunk on her paper.

I need therapy, I need rehab, or maybe something stronger.

Who, what, where, when, how?! GOD SLAP ME IN MY FACE NOW PLEASE. I really need to wake up from all my bad dreams and stop dreaming of people.



I feel pathetic when my buddies need me yet my own damn heart is breaking and I'm barely keeping my composure. I'm borderlining deranged.

If I could stab my bleeding heart and be there, I would. But I need it to live. Hahaha! I feel terrible for abandoning you three. But I actually have to concentrate on breathing, that's how bad I'm feeling.

I have to say one thing. Someone in my clique's MOUTH is too big for (ahem's) head. You better learn to control it because you're causing a rift. Please don't pass tolerance threshold. Or I'll be force to slap you.

My heart is breaking as each day goes by. My heart breaks when I don't see you. My heart breaks and there's really nothing I can do but put on the mask I know so well.

KOREAN FEST anyone? Tonight I got 2 songs for you all to hear. It's not bad. But they can't really win "It's You" or "SORRY SORRY" or "Why I Like You" by SUJU.



"I Don't Care" by 2NE1. Sounds like Sean Kingston's Take You There.



"Emotion" by Big Bang. Sounds like Lady Gaga's Poker face. (I'll tell you a funy story tmr)




Wednesday, July 1, 2009
Myocardial Infarction.

"Because only you can save me from me."

Oh tired shitless man. Tired of the nonsense from some people. I swear they are ridding on my nerves. Tired of people. *whines* I am mentally constipated.

Well that's because my heart is sulking, weeping, moping and she's just plain depressing. So much so that my head can't think. And I'm not helping by listening to MJ, making me wanna cry too):

If only I had time to stop and comfort fify. I feel likka bad owner. If you were a person, I'd hug you and never let go because I don't know how to help you. I feel the pain. Jane feels pathetic tonight.

I don't wanna be the strong, silent one. I wanna be the whimpy, whiney one.

Wrap you in my arms and whine whenever you have to leave. Whine to you about everything and everyone. Whine about all the stupid things happening in one day.

Silence all of their nonsense that runs through my mind with your voice. Because only you can save me from me. Don't turn and walk away.

Song of the day: You Are Not Alone by Michael Jackson
Someone tell me why, did you have to go and leave my world so cold?



I seriously feel like crying when I listen to this song. Overly emotional human.




Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Where's the restart button?

"I'll never ask for anyone but you."



Watching Optimus kick some decepticon ass is D8 (x1,000,000). I LOOVEE IT!*chubby M1 boss style* Hahahaha! Megan Fox is *choir sings "HOT"* hot. Bumble Bee's cute. Optimus is IMBA. Twins are seriously hilarious "It's suppose to hurt! It's called an ass kickin'!"

Anthea got me listening to a song. Oh there goes the heart pain. Excuse me while I try to concentrate on breathing.



I have something I wrote, something I wanted to say. But everytime I want to speak, you put your finger to my lips. So I'll type it out for the world to see just how much you mean to me.

If money could buy me time with you, I'd be the happiest bankruptee.
If killing people would bring me one step closer to you, I'd kill everyone.
If roses signify how much I love you, I'm afraid I'll have to kill everyone first due to space constrain.
If being mocked means I get your attention for one minute, I'd order mile thick skin.
If you being happy means you being with someone else, I'd watch over you from afar.
If there's a chance or a way to be with you, I'll find it, because I believe in miracles.

And if you believe in miracles too, then don't let go of me just yet.

Seem like Lianz wants the whole world to hate her and her dardar. Hahaha! Oh you made enemies in Food Science, BMS and BIO. Are you planning on Vet or BCS? Because I'm sure I have some friends there who'd like to hate you too.

Well I'll link you to Ferdi's blog(Lanzy's buddy). The lastest post, last paragraph. I can't believe she never tell that piece of nose shit off! Oh my gawd. Why doesn't she glare at me?

I wanna have a reason to make her life hell. Which reminds me, Bryan and Miley testifies that lianz smells SOUR. How would we know? We sat behind Johnson and thing. *shivers*

Song of the day: Never Say Never by The Fray
I'll be your guardian, when all is crumbling.




Monday, June 29, 2009
When you find you, come back to me.

"Tell me what to say, tell me what you want to hear."


(can you hear it?)

I've got one subject, all science students hate. CSAS. Redundant&Retarded. I wasted pen ink. Eh economic recession! Don't waste money.

I was doing a draft for my csas homework(yes, The Jane's favourite subject) and I was at the end and my mind's all tired, my fingers are threatening to fall off if I continued to scribble. "The symptoms are adbomianal pain..." Hold up. What?

I was thinking "jeez viji's so anal" while copying "abdorminal" and it became "adbomianal" Hahaha! Lesson learnt, don't bitchfit and copy at the same time.

D8 Lianz privatise her blog?! D8 Sheesh. Whiney bitch feels super don't friend lianz now(not that I ever did). Everyone's like moving blog or un-publicating it or just plain disappearing.

I feel like killing myself for quarantining myself at home last AnnetteShobaday, Oops, I meant Tuesday. Now I have no HEAD and I don't understand shit. Molecular Genetics will you marry me?

China men(hydro-car-bomb[oc1] and Dr. Hu) are the bane of my scientific life. I don't understand him, them. Ugh! Speak english dammit! I looked at my MGEN tutorial for like 1minute, got depressed and closed it.

Oh! I was watching TV(yes, I do that sometimes) flipping through channels like Paris Hilton changing her undies/boyfriends. What the hell happened to MTV? There's barely any music.

My rabbit came into the house and took a dump on my foot. Friggin' milo balls. I booted my bunny(his name's Bunny, very original) out of the house. His name was originally Shadow Fats, but my daddy said Bunny was nicer. That's like calling a girl, a girl -.-

Song of the day: Come Back To Me by David Cook
I'll be right here waiting to see, you find you, come back to me.




Sunday, June 28, 2009

"You are a privilege."

I am staying away from parties for a while. Not that I don't like them. My singaporean excuse for it would be, my risk of getting pig flu is higher! So I'll be staying home, doing my catching up likka lil nerd. Anyone wanna join me?

Eli's got all sorts of weird theories and they amaze me. Today's theory is, I can change the atmosphere at will. She says I can make people feel stupid, nervous, welcomed, happy, sad, scared, awkward, embarrassed, as I please.

I was like "Are you high?" Hahaha! It's a subject for another day because our debate was very long. Scott supports her. D8 What the hell.

Okay I think I am overly emotional. I came home at like 9:05-ish? My mummy was watching her channel 8 drama and sobbing. So I watched 5 minutes of it. The next thing I know, Im sobbing too! O_O Recently, my emotions have been overwhelming. Im unable to control my tears, my words, my self. Pandemic alert. Hahaha!

Now when I feel an emotion, its extreme. I don't understand. When I'm upset/annoyed, my blood boils. When I'm sad, I feel like dying. When I'm happy, the world's colourful(queer kinda colourful, that's bad).

If My Words Carried Any Signifiance To You

Nobody understands why,
Why I don't even try, to make you cry,
Try to hurt you bad, make you mad,
I can't do that, can't see you sad.

Asking me to not care about you,
Is asking water not to be wet,
Asking me to give up on you,
Is asking Santa not to be fat.

Telling me not to love you,
Is like telling my heart not to beat,
Telling me not to miss you,
Is like telling me not to feel.

I hope you know how much you mean to me now.

I swear, if I could get what I want by rolling around on the floor, whining, I'd do it in a heartbeat. That may seem rather pathetic, but if it works, I'm sure I can live with the shame. I think.

The awesomeness of Super Junior live dancing and half lip dubbing(it's still sizzling). As such. My two favourite songs with my 3 favourite leading. Oh gosh. Han Geng, Si Won and Dong Hae! *goes into suju fangirl mode*

Lord have mercy. I need to get a life instead of watching every damn dance video of suju.



The song that most describes me today: